There are few things more terrifying than a first date and that doesn't include being in a room full of snakes and picture day because those are nothing compared to that. There are so many things going through your head, and this just may apply to girls and us gays, but I know straight guys have very similar fears. There is that chance where you genuinely know the person you are going on a date with if it's through mutual friends or you have known them for a while and you both decide to take it to another level. You than at least know the topics you can discuss, know a lot about the person beforehand, and will know a good date to take them on. This already takes a lot of weight off your shoulders but you have to wonder if the date will just seem like two friends going out together or if it means something more, so you can't treat it like just another day with this person. You want to get dressed up, you want to take them somewhere fancier and you want them to have a good time with you and this is something you have to be careful about that it won't be awkward the whole time. Just make it something fun, you still want to keep it more casual because you can't risk that awkwardness of trying too hard, just have a good time. Grab those mutual friends you have, be sure to call dibs, because you are going to need them to help you get ready and talk you through how it's going to go, don't hesitate to ask them for date ideas, where to go. what to wear, just how to help you plan the night. When it comes to going on a first date with a friend you should be able to ride together, it really doesn't matter if the girl or guy drives, gays, you just have a mutual agreement on this one. You can always drive separate because you never know if a date is going to go sour, don't rely on the mutual friends to do the fake hurry home phone call because no one wants to be in the middle of that situation. Just play the evening by ear and if you want the mutual friends to meet you at the next location if the date isn't going as planned than just go for it, you both know how the evening is going at that point.
Than there is the blind date, the one that scares us most of all. Through social media and online dating, thanks Tinder, we have an idea of what the person looks like beforehand so we at least know we have that physical attraction. Be wary of that person who is just really good at taking selfies and knows there lighting well, find an actual picture of this person before the blind date so you aren't necessarily blind sided when you get there. If this first date you set up yourself you have hopefully been talking to the person in some form to get to know them better so the evening won't be entirely awkward when you are thinking of topics to bring up during whatever it is you are doing. Whoever is planning the date, don't hesitate to make it something fun and spontaneous, but still gives you a chance to have a genuine conversation with this person. You don't want anything to take away from a conversation, that is the whole point of the date! We all worry about doing a boring date, just avoid the movies, but the only thing that matters is that you are getting to know the person and you don't feel like it's a dry date.
Now if this is the blind date your friend is setting up, this is where the real fun begins. Again, thanks to social media or a picture your friend showed you, you probably have an idea that you are physically attracted to this person but that is all you really know, except the things your friend told you to make them sound spectacular, so you are on your own when it comes to topics and what to do for a date. This is where a nice, simple dinner might be best, but if the date goes well it is fine to ask if they want to go somewhere for drinks after. Spontaneity is one of the main things people find attractive in someone, not that you should make the date bungee jumping, but changing things up never hurt anybody. The hardest part will be getting ready before the date because your hair doesn't look how you had it the other day, that shirt or dress suddenly makes you look frumpy, and all of your friends are at work so they can't help you get ready. Do the mental talk to yourself, listen to some old 90's music and just breathe. The more you psych yourself out before the date even starts will determine how the entire night goes. If the date is just dinner, don't get drunk, play off of the person you are with. See how many drinks they are having and how they are handling their alcohol, you don't really want your inhibitions gone on the first date, keep it slow. With that being said, this is definitely my own opinion, DON'T HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST DATE. It shouldn't matter if you are friends, meeting for the first time, or have slept together in the past, you shouldn't chance anything by sleeping that quickly because than your relationship will just revolve around sex. I'm not saying if you do it your relationship will fail, I know people that are very happy and they had sex early on, but like everything I say on this blog it is my opinion so take it as you will. I'm just a single gay guy in a big city so what do I know?
Here to say it,
postgradgay
Baby Don't Lie // Gwen Stefani
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