SEX. I know it's more apparent in younger and younger age groups but I'm just focusing on our age group, us 20 somethings, because that's what I can most relate to and personally experienced growing up. There is such a stigma in talking about sex and it's such a taboo topic in conversation and I don't really get why. It's the reason we are here, so we should be able to be comfortable talking about it. Why feel so uncomfortable when someone asks you how old you were when you lost your virginity, were you in a relationship at the time, how many sexual partners have you had? Granted, these are all personal questions and you don't have to answer, but why not? Most people who know me know I'll answer just about any question you ask me, not even just revolving around sex, especially when it comes to educating someone about the LGBT community and my personal lifestyle. There is no reason to judge someone who has had multiple sexual partners, just be having safe sex, but if it is safe than who are we to judge? I would personally be rather jealous of this person and I know most people would, but who's going to admit it? I will. Virginity is a hard one, literally no pun intended, because we don't know the circumstances for anyone's situation so if they don't want to answer there is no need to pursue the answer, maybe this person will tell you when they feel more comfortable to talk about it. Sex questions are nothing to be taboo about and it's something you are definitely going to need to discuss with a sexual partner. Don't be afraid to ask if someone has been tested, if they have a condom, are they on birth control, these are important questions you have every right to know.
Speaking of sex in relationships, that's what this post is all about, when is a good time to finally take that next step with someone? Every relationship is different and sex can mean different things to different couples so this is all just my personal opinion, like everything I write about, but this is also a blog post coming from someone who doesn't see themselves as a sexual person. Look away mom, but sex isn't something I'm not passionate about, not that I haven't done it or currently don't but like I said, everyone is different when it comes to sex. Maybe it's because I'm not in a relationship to share that bond with, who knows? Sex is something that can happen so easily nowadays before you even start to date someone, maybe sex is the spark that gets you two to talk to each other after what you thought may have been a one night stand turns into a great relationships. To quote the movie I love to quote in these posts, He's Just Not That Into You, this goes back to the someone being the exception and someone being the rule so just because someone had a one night stand and it turned into an amazing relationship does not mean it's going to happen for you too. Kudos to you all out there that have that luck because I firmly believe in the statement, "be sure to test drive the car before you buy it" but I even more firmly believe in the statement, "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Both of these work so well when it comes to sex, so just be careful because you never know which statement someone is going for when they try and go to the next level.
One night stands are void of this blog post because most of us have been there and that's pretty black and white unlike friends with benefits, whole other blog post, but maybe you are that couple that wants to wait until the perfect moment, not meaning marriage, but you don't want to jump in and start the relationship off with sex. Why not wait for the magical fireworks moment when you know you're in love? Nothing, so we shouldn't be judging someone just because they haven't had sex with their significant other yet because every relationship is different. We live in a world now where sex is so prevalent that we would judge someone for waiting to have sex, thanks Cosmo. In all seriousness, I don't there could ever be a scientific study saying waiting or not waiting helps a relationship because you're going to see it different in every couple there is. You just have to decide, do you want to wait or do you trust this person enough to think something more could come from just having sex? Just never hesitate to ask the important questions, if the person doesn't want to answer then it really isn't worth the risk, but to each their own. This is the time to make mistakes, just be careful about who you make them with!
P.S. This post has nothing to do with people waiting until marriage. Kudos to you, you're the real MVP.
Here to say it,
postgradgay
What Kind of Man // Florence + The Machine
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Thursday, February 19, 2015
20 Somethings Are The New Adults
Sometimes the things we need to hear come from ourselves. We are at that age, I'm assuming most of you reading this are around my age, and we wake up every day not knowing if we know for sure what we want to do with our lives or are we making the right decision with our lives. Well let me tell you, it doesn't get any easier after you graduate and I'm okay with that. We never know if what we are doing with our lives is the right thing or are we even doing a good job at being adults. I love my job and I make a "living", but do other people look at me as a server and think that I'm being an adult or making an living for myself? Probably not, and that's okay with me because this confirmation that you're doing productive things with your life has to first come within yourself. We are all ultimately working towards a goal in our lives. Becoming a college graduate, finding a "real" job, being the person we always thought we would be. This is the time in our lives we get to find out if we are becoming that person. If you're not, look how to make that original plan better, we are welcome to change plans with our lives every day.
Whenever I wake up I do occasionally think, "Am I being a productive adult? Is there something I can do to seem more like an adult?" The answer is no, because I'm doing pretty damn well by myself already. It's a good thing that I question myself, I'm open to grow and be more open-minded to new situations and what can happen around me. I wouldn't have it any other way because I enjoy being self-aware of who I am and how to be a better person every day. I have a full time job and I can pay my bills on time, something I'm damn proud of because I know this is part of being an adult, this way part of my life as an undergraduate and I know it is the life of many other people I know as well. If you can wake up and you have your own money to pay your bills then you're doing a lot better than plenty of other people out there in the real world so enjoy having that self-confidence in yourself.
At this point in our lives, close to graduating or already graduating we have to make the mental list of all the things we wish we could tell our younger selves so we wouldn't make all the mistakes we made growing up. The best part, we shouldn't regret any of those mistakes because it puts me in a place now where I can buy things I need, somethings I don't need, pay my rent and for the most part live a life where I am the adult in my life. I love my parents and I know if I ever need them for anything they will be there in a second, but there is a joy of not having to need them to help me with financial or life choices. I know the decisions I need to make down the road in my life and that all falls back on me, no one else. Wake up, look in the mirror each morning and see if that person is someone you are okay with being because you are welcome to change that at any point in your life. Change your degree, go get a new degree, get your master's. find a new job, move to a new city, you are the adult in your life now so it's time to take charge and make these choices based on your happiness. No one else's because you can find someone that makes you happy but your happiness ultimately relies on you because you have to be happy with yourself first.
Here to say it,
postgradgay
Numbers // FKA Twigs
Whenever I wake up I do occasionally think, "Am I being a productive adult? Is there something I can do to seem more like an adult?" The answer is no, because I'm doing pretty damn well by myself already. It's a good thing that I question myself, I'm open to grow and be more open-minded to new situations and what can happen around me. I wouldn't have it any other way because I enjoy being self-aware of who I am and how to be a better person every day. I have a full time job and I can pay my bills on time, something I'm damn proud of because I know this is part of being an adult, this way part of my life as an undergraduate and I know it is the life of many other people I know as well. If you can wake up and you have your own money to pay your bills then you're doing a lot better than plenty of other people out there in the real world so enjoy having that self-confidence in yourself.
At this point in our lives, close to graduating or already graduating we have to make the mental list of all the things we wish we could tell our younger selves so we wouldn't make all the mistakes we made growing up. The best part, we shouldn't regret any of those mistakes because it puts me in a place now where I can buy things I need, somethings I don't need, pay my rent and for the most part live a life where I am the adult in my life. I love my parents and I know if I ever need them for anything they will be there in a second, but there is a joy of not having to need them to help me with financial or life choices. I know the decisions I need to make down the road in my life and that all falls back on me, no one else. Wake up, look in the mirror each morning and see if that person is someone you are okay with being because you are welcome to change that at any point in your life. Change your degree, go get a new degree, get your master's. find a new job, move to a new city, you are the adult in your life now so it's time to take charge and make these choices based on your happiness. No one else's because you can find someone that makes you happy but your happiness ultimately relies on you because you have to be happy with yourself first.
Here to say it,
postgradgay
Numbers // FKA Twigs
Monday, February 16, 2015
I Should Delete That Song
All this snow is happening today so I thought it would be a perfect time to write a post in the comfort of my bed and I had a friend recently who has not really talked about her ex for a while and saw a picture of him with his new girlfriend and it just brought back feelings, emotions and a topic of conversation. The point of this post, just because we say we are over someone does it mean we are?
When are we supposed to know we are truly over someone? I mean, it may never happen when you think about it. It can be months after a breakup and than you hear that one song you all listened to, you pass by your favorite place to eat together or something triggers a thought and it all comes rushing back. It can hit you like a brick wall when you least expect it, just when you think you are getting over that last hurdle you trip and it feels like you're just going to have to start over again. We know this tends to take time, but we don't know how much time is supposed to past. Should we feel bad if it happens sooner than we thought? People have horror stories of it taking years before they were able to move on and everyone has their own process and it doesn't mean anything about you if you are able to move on quicker than you expected. Maybe it says more about the person you were with if you are able to move on fast. What steps should we take to move on? Sometimes if you have a breakup that you both agree on then you're fine to keep following them on social media, you're okay to see them going out with someone in public or maybe even one day go on a...dare I say it, double date? Some people say you can't be friends with an ex, I can't personally speak about this because I'm not friends with any of mine, BUT I know people that are and it works just fine! There is clearly a level you can't cross if this happens and you have to make sure boundaries are set, especially when one of you gets in a new relationship because you never know if that crazy part of you is going to snap when they actually do move on.
Than we have the couples who don't have such a perfect breakup and it ends up being a scene from Kill Bill the way you both act around each other. You don't necessarily want to seem bitter and unfollow them on social media, but if seeing them infuriates you or makes you upset then it might be what is best. There is nothing stopping you from following them back later if and when you seem ready to be updated on their life, but for now don't hesitate to take time for yourself and Pinterest inspirational quotes. Depending on the breakup you're allowed to be bitter and talk shit for a few days to your friends while we all tell you how bad of a person they were. But this goes for everyone, please only take a few days, that's all you really need. You obviously might need more time to move on and come to terms but if all you do is complain abut the person then you're never going to be able to move on so don't go overboard. As your friends we can only repeat he's a dick or she was a bitch so often to get the point across to you, but we will do it as long as you need us too. Doesn't mean we won't be there to help burn a box of their things or go out with you because you never know what a person is going through or how they are handling a situation, as best friends we just have to be there and support them.
I know not a long post this time around, but this is something that needed to be short and sweet. Plus I have to find a way to enjoy this snow today!
Here to say it,
postgradgay
What Kind Of Man // Florence + the Machine
When are we supposed to know we are truly over someone? I mean, it may never happen when you think about it. It can be months after a breakup and than you hear that one song you all listened to, you pass by your favorite place to eat together or something triggers a thought and it all comes rushing back. It can hit you like a brick wall when you least expect it, just when you think you are getting over that last hurdle you trip and it feels like you're just going to have to start over again. We know this tends to take time, but we don't know how much time is supposed to past. Should we feel bad if it happens sooner than we thought? People have horror stories of it taking years before they were able to move on and everyone has their own process and it doesn't mean anything about you if you are able to move on quicker than you expected. Maybe it says more about the person you were with if you are able to move on fast. What steps should we take to move on? Sometimes if you have a breakup that you both agree on then you're fine to keep following them on social media, you're okay to see them going out with someone in public or maybe even one day go on a...dare I say it, double date? Some people say you can't be friends with an ex, I can't personally speak about this because I'm not friends with any of mine, BUT I know people that are and it works just fine! There is clearly a level you can't cross if this happens and you have to make sure boundaries are set, especially when one of you gets in a new relationship because you never know if that crazy part of you is going to snap when they actually do move on.
Than we have the couples who don't have such a perfect breakup and it ends up being a scene from Kill Bill the way you both act around each other. You don't necessarily want to seem bitter and unfollow them on social media, but if seeing them infuriates you or makes you upset then it might be what is best. There is nothing stopping you from following them back later if and when you seem ready to be updated on their life, but for now don't hesitate to take time for yourself and Pinterest inspirational quotes. Depending on the breakup you're allowed to be bitter and talk shit for a few days to your friends while we all tell you how bad of a person they were. But this goes for everyone, please only take a few days, that's all you really need. You obviously might need more time to move on and come to terms but if all you do is complain abut the person then you're never going to be able to move on so don't go overboard. As your friends we can only repeat he's a dick or she was a bitch so often to get the point across to you, but we will do it as long as you need us too. Doesn't mean we won't be there to help burn a box of their things or go out with you because you never know what a person is going through or how they are handling a situation, as best friends we just have to be there and support them.
I know not a long post this time around, but this is something that needed to be short and sweet. Plus I have to find a way to enjoy this snow today!
Here to say it,
postgradgay
What Kind Of Man // Florence + the Machine
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
The Single Friend on Valentine's Day
Now before you start reading this post, go open you a bottle of wine and get Alanis Morissette's Jagged Little Pill playing on repeat. It's almost that time of the year, Valentine's Day, the day that scares all of us single folk to buying multiple bottles of wine and binge watching Parks and Recreation and He's Just Not That Into You all day. Most of us are perfectly okay with this, myself included, but we can't help but be a little bitter to all of our friends in flourishing relationships having romantic dinners and doing relationship activities on this dark day. For the most part we all are very happy for our friends in relationships, it just always works out that our single friends are all at work, because we requested to be, and we are forced to be alone while we drown our sorrows in two buck Chucks and ice cream. It's impossible to go anywhere on this day in a public setting because of what we are forced to see
Restaurants are no good because we are eating alone while others are surrounded by candlelight
Bars are full of couples or other single people who are only looking for one thing
Movies, you're surrounded by middle schoolers having make out sessions in the row in front of you
Social media is covered with happy relationship pictures and sappy status updates
Our only safe haven is a Chinese buffet where no one is there to judge you and you are very content and happy with posting your romantic meal for one on Instagram just to rub it in everyone's face. One thing we are starting to learn about V-Day, it's a perfect day for self reflection, and that we get realize that we can be very happy on our own as independent people who don't need no man/woman. Don't get me wrong, I would probably be one of those sappy people if I was in a committed relationship on this day but through my 24 years of living I've never had a serious relationship during this time. It's just worked out that we've been on a break, broke up right before or started dating right after. It's shown me a lot throughout the years since I've always had a group of friends who have been in relationships and have gotten to experience all the sappy and lovely memories. I've enjoyed having those nights of binge watching TV shows and being sappy with your single friends because sometimes those are the only valentines you need and at the moment I wouldn't have it any other way.
But we can never forget Galentine's Day, my personal favorite day of the year that my favorite show Parks and Recreation taught us about, because it's the day you grab all those single friends and you get to steal your friends in a relationship for this one day. It's the day before Valentine's Day and it's just a day you go around and tell your friends how much you love them, don't be afraid to exchange gifts, and have a day for you all. Treat yo self! The best part about this day, you get to do it year round, but this is your chance to be extra sappy and just enjoy your day with each other before all the restaurants and bars are surrounded by couples making out while enjoying their cosmos and buckets of beer. I'm writing this post now because the month of February has officially begun and no one is safe from the romantic posts and all of the #mcm and #wcw leading up to Valentine's Day. Hopefully by this point in the post you have started your second glass of wine, we both know you need it, and buckle down for what is to come with this month. Go out and buy the movie Valentine's Day and don't hesitate to binge watch after the day is over and consume plenty of discount chocolate because you earned it! You made it another year, being the single friend, being independent, and just learning to love yourself even more before you decide to share that love with someone else.
Don't worry friends in relationships, we still love you and hope for the best for you, just don't show us anything your significant other got you unless you plan on sharing it, we've gotten all of our tears out for the day, or we just resorted to opening the boxed wine we've had in the back of the refrigerator waiting for this day.
Here to say it,
postgradgay
You Oughta Know // Alanis Morissette
Restaurants are no good because we are eating alone while others are surrounded by candlelight
Bars are full of couples or other single people who are only looking for one thing
Movies, you're surrounded by middle schoolers having make out sessions in the row in front of you
Social media is covered with happy relationship pictures and sappy status updates
Our only safe haven is a Chinese buffet where no one is there to judge you and you are very content and happy with posting your romantic meal for one on Instagram just to rub it in everyone's face. One thing we are starting to learn about V-Day, it's a perfect day for self reflection, and that we get realize that we can be very happy on our own as independent people who don't need no man/woman. Don't get me wrong, I would probably be one of those sappy people if I was in a committed relationship on this day but through my 24 years of living I've never had a serious relationship during this time. It's just worked out that we've been on a break, broke up right before or started dating right after. It's shown me a lot throughout the years since I've always had a group of friends who have been in relationships and have gotten to experience all the sappy and lovely memories. I've enjoyed having those nights of binge watching TV shows and being sappy with your single friends because sometimes those are the only valentines you need and at the moment I wouldn't have it any other way.
But we can never forget Galentine's Day, my personal favorite day of the year that my favorite show Parks and Recreation taught us about, because it's the day you grab all those single friends and you get to steal your friends in a relationship for this one day. It's the day before Valentine's Day and it's just a day you go around and tell your friends how much you love them, don't be afraid to exchange gifts, and have a day for you all. Treat yo self! The best part about this day, you get to do it year round, but this is your chance to be extra sappy and just enjoy your day with each other before all the restaurants and bars are surrounded by couples making out while enjoying their cosmos and buckets of beer. I'm writing this post now because the month of February has officially begun and no one is safe from the romantic posts and all of the #mcm and #wcw leading up to Valentine's Day. Hopefully by this point in the post you have started your second glass of wine, we both know you need it, and buckle down for what is to come with this month. Go out and buy the movie Valentine's Day and don't hesitate to binge watch after the day is over and consume plenty of discount chocolate because you earned it! You made it another year, being the single friend, being independent, and just learning to love yourself even more before you decide to share that love with someone else.
Don't worry friends in relationships, we still love you and hope for the best for you, just don't show us anything your significant other got you unless you plan on sharing it, we've gotten all of our tears out for the day, or we just resorted to opening the boxed wine we've had in the back of the refrigerator waiting for this day.
Here to say it,
postgradgay
You Oughta Know // Alanis Morissette
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Can A Bottle of Wine Propose?
Who told who that we all needed someone to make ourselves happy? Not trying to sound cynical, I hope to one day have the white picket fence and my own hot tub in my bedroom but growing up we always hear that we need to be with someone to make ourselves happy. No, I'm not calling anyone out with this blog and I think this can literally apply to anyone. It all boils down to loving yourself before you think you're ready to love someone else. I know I don't truly love myself whole heartedly right now so why give someone only half of me instead of all of me? They don't deserve that and I know I don't either. This is the month of love, and don't forget that it's also Black History Month, but now more than ever we are expected to be happy and swooning over someone. Like I said, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS IF YOU ARE IN THIS SITUATION, just not for me right now and that's why this is blog is being written. Something someone can find so attractive in someone else in confidence and that's something we all need, myself included so focus on yourself. Do yoga, find ideas on Pinterest, eat a quart of ice cream, do whatever it takes to make you feel good about yourself because that's the only approval that matters.
We all want what we can't have. We love the chase, the challenge, the experience of going through that pain of having your heart broken or someone not being interested in you like you are with them. Well let me tell you, it's not going to get any easier. Sometimes it takes a few times of getting denied and knocked down to understand that maybe you aren't ready and you don't have to be. We are in our 20's, so young, take a page out of some of our friends books that seem to be doing it right. I know I look at people around me and tell myself I want what they have but on my own schedule because I don't think I need it right now. If that guy or girl isn't interested in you use the ever so reliable, Bye Felicia, and move on. When you find that confidence down the road and you see that they suddenly find interest in you, you might be in a place in your life where you have that confidence and you no longer wish to be with that person. Confidence in yourself can really change a lot of your perspectives because it puts you in a place that you normally don't find yourself and there is no reason to think any differently in yourself because of that.
Long story short, love yourself and be happy with who you are before you feel the need to share that happiness with someone else because you're the only person that matters in a relationship no matter how long you're with someone. I'm sure I've repeated a lot of this information in previous blogs and I"m sure I'll say it more in future blogs to come but that doesn't mean we don't need to realize who we are as independent people. Love isn't an easy thing to come by, but why should it come from yourself last? Confidence is a sexy trait so be sure that you are the first one to find it, don't let it fade because you are the one that let's that shine. You need to realize you can survive on your own because you never know at any point in your life you could be on your own, but you know you always have your friends there. We don't go anywhere and we don't plan on it. Don't ever think we are going anywhere and don't ever think you need someone by your side to help your self worth. I think you're beautiful and that's all that really matters.
Here to say it..because I love you,
postgradgay
I'm Not Your Hero // Tegan and Sara
Long story short, love yourself and be happy with who you are before you feel the need to share that happiness with someone else because you're the only person that matters in a relationship no matter how long you're with someone. I'm sure I've repeated a lot of this information in previous blogs and I"m sure I'll say it more in future blogs to come but that doesn't mean we don't need to realize who we are as independent people. Love isn't an easy thing to come by, but why should it come from yourself last? Confidence is a sexy trait so be sure that you are the first one to find it, don't let it fade because you are the one that let's that shine. You need to realize you can survive on your own because you never know at any point in your life you could be on your own, but you know you always have your friends there. We don't go anywhere and we don't plan on it. Don't ever think we are going anywhere and don't ever think you need someone by your side to help your self worth. I think you're beautiful and that's all that really matters.
Here to say it..because I love you,
postgradgay
I'm Not Your Hero // Tegan and Sara
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Where's Peter Pan When You Need Him?
Part of me starting this blog was to help me figure out why am I here, what is it I want to do with my life, so far it's been pretty helpful but there was a part of me leading up to where I am now that I was clueless about what I wanted to do. Now that I've graduated I have people asking me what I'm doing, where are you working? I'm a still a server so back off and wipe that look off of your face because for the moment I'm loving it. The thing is, they act so quickly after you graduate. I graduated last May and they were asking me these questions before the end of the month, I'm sure there are people that are more over prepared than I was and did have jobs but I wasn't one of them. I thought about where I wanted to live and how I was going to make a living for myself and right now I'm doing just fine making that living being a server. I've got plenty of big ideas going on in my mind, just have to figure out how to make so many of them happen. I've already started one by starting this blog and I have you all to thank for going on this journey with me.
I've been a college graduate for almost a year now, hold the applause, I love what I got my degree in and I had an amazing time at my undergrad but I look at my life now and I do the inevitable is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? I wouldn't change a thing about college but we are forced to choose a degree so quickly, we can't be one of those people who go in undecided and stay that way for three years! We tend to make rash and quick decisions and stick it with and you always have that group that will change one to two hundred times over their course as an undergrad. I'm 24 and what I've mainly done with jobs in my young life is working in the service industry, and while I'm sure professional server looks great on a resume I need to find out what I actually want to do. How is it we know what we want to be doing for the rest of our lives? We all have that thought in our head when we have that one bad day, what if there are more bad days, could I handle it, do I want to handle it? For those who don't know, my degree was in education and I have all the respect in the world for teachers, it runs in my blood from both of my amazing parents, so I figured it was something I wanted to do. After experiencing what my teachers and professors did for me and seeing what my parents did for their students I thought it was something I wanted to do...not the case. I was student teaching, which I loved too, but I got to think if this was something I wanted to do for the next 30-40 years and I looked at myself and decided it wasn't. I didn't know what it was I wanted to do, but I knew it wasn't that and I didn't want to lie about that to myself anymore.
I got my appendix out a couple months ago and it was a scary time for me and I had that epiphany of "Do I want to die being a SERVER?" Well the answer is no and while I was in recovery with my parents taking care of me I finally got time to think about my life and what all I wanted to do with it. It took some time because I've never been passionate about many things in my life when it comes to something you can do as a job. Unless I can become an actor instantly or a camp counselor starts paying a lot better I didn't really know what I wanted to do. This is the moment where a famous person is reading this blog and offers me a job writing or acting. Just ask me for my phone number and you got it! That epiphany really put me on the right track and it made me want to go to grad school, which I will hopefully be starting in the fall, and it also made me realize there is never a rush to figuring out what you want to do. There is nothing wrong with doing odd end jobs until you decide because we all have to pay rent and bills, so be a server, get a job in your field to build your resume, do something because any of these things can help you get to where you want to be. All I know is that we all have to grow up eventually, it's just up to you to decide when.
Here to say it,
postgradgay
Always Take You Back // Night Terrors of 1927
I've been a college graduate for almost a year now, hold the applause, I love what I got my degree in and I had an amazing time at my undergrad but I look at my life now and I do the inevitable is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? I wouldn't change a thing about college but we are forced to choose a degree so quickly, we can't be one of those people who go in undecided and stay that way for three years! We tend to make rash and quick decisions and stick it with and you always have that group that will change one to two hundred times over their course as an undergrad. I'm 24 and what I've mainly done with jobs in my young life is working in the service industry, and while I'm sure professional server looks great on a resume I need to find out what I actually want to do. How is it we know what we want to be doing for the rest of our lives? We all have that thought in our head when we have that one bad day, what if there are more bad days, could I handle it, do I want to handle it? For those who don't know, my degree was in education and I have all the respect in the world for teachers, it runs in my blood from both of my amazing parents, so I figured it was something I wanted to do. After experiencing what my teachers and professors did for me and seeing what my parents did for their students I thought it was something I wanted to do...not the case. I was student teaching, which I loved too, but I got to think if this was something I wanted to do for the next 30-40 years and I looked at myself and decided it wasn't. I didn't know what it was I wanted to do, but I knew it wasn't that and I didn't want to lie about that to myself anymore.
I got my appendix out a couple months ago and it was a scary time for me and I had that epiphany of "Do I want to die being a SERVER?" Well the answer is no and while I was in recovery with my parents taking care of me I finally got time to think about my life and what all I wanted to do with it. It took some time because I've never been passionate about many things in my life when it comes to something you can do as a job. Unless I can become an actor instantly or a camp counselor starts paying a lot better I didn't really know what I wanted to do. This is the moment where a famous person is reading this blog and offers me a job writing or acting. Just ask me for my phone number and you got it! That epiphany really put me on the right track and it made me want to go to grad school, which I will hopefully be starting in the fall, and it also made me realize there is never a rush to figuring out what you want to do. There is nothing wrong with doing odd end jobs until you decide because we all have to pay rent and bills, so be a server, get a job in your field to build your resume, do something because any of these things can help you get to where you want to be. All I know is that we all have to grow up eventually, it's just up to you to decide when.
Here to say it,
postgradgay
Always Take You Back // Night Terrors of 1927
Monday, February 2, 2015
Drunk In...I Don't Even Know
One of the sayings I live by is "drunk mind speaks sober thoughts" and for the most part it has never steered me wrong, but between myself and just seeing everyone around me that never really takes place when it comes to someone we are attracted to. We are like zombies once we reach that inebriation level and we just wander back and forth until we detect the first person we see that we feel like we should be attracted and that is who we set our eyes on for the night. Once you get drunk you really just tell who you want by the smell of fear and detecting them by heat so it's safe to say we aren't picky. We can hear our more sober friends advising us not to make this decision, or if they are your best friends they are probably pushing you to make this not so great decision and that's why we keep them around. We all have experienced or heard the story of going to bed with a 9 or 10 and waking up with a 5 or 6..sometimes lower, don't lie to your friends because they already know. I'm not sure why we like to throw our inhibitions out the window, of course it's the alcohol, but that is one of the few things you really can't trust when you're intoxicated, who are you trying to go home with? Once that alcohol hits your lips and it's almost time for last call you start the search because God forbid you just go home, eat your weight in French Toast Crunch and watch Kill Bill on repeat. Nope, we have to already plan to hate ourselves in the morning so you might as well start mentally preparing yourself before you even go out if you know you're that type of person.
Something that I've also noticed, you don't have to wasted to make these poor choices, just that touch of alcohol and you are ready to scour the bar, but there is the person that we know we are going to go home with if we both have drank. You can always rely on old faithful in these situations if that's what you're looking for, only requirement is no one get attached and it's only when you are both intoxicated. You have a great time with this person and it's always fun but there comes a time when it's daylight out and they are asking you to go to lunch. You know you possibly can't start throwing back pitchers at noon, unless it's spring break, but you have to think about if you really want to make this move with this person. You realize that sober you really isn't a fan and you start to wonder how the whole thing ever got started, alcohol. If your immediate thought when this person wants to hang out is no or you keep making excuses to not hang out with them than that really says how you feel so save you both the trouble and be honest with the person, always be HONEST. This goes for any kind of relationship, it's never worth it. If someone wants to be with someone else than they will make it happen, simple as that.
(thanks again He's Just Not That Into You)
We can't stop lying to ourselves about this, sometimes it's just not in us to see this person in daylight, not that big of a deal. We are all human and we all make bad decisions when we just get too drunk. Take out the friends who won't let you make these decisions for a while and just have fun! People care too much about sex nowadays and not enough about just having fun with those around you. If that happens to be someone you are attracted to, play it by ear and see how it goes but there is no reason to force it because it definitely won't come across the way you want it to after an hour or two of bottomless cup.
Here to say it,
postgradgay
Ain't Gonna Drown // Elle King
Something that I've also noticed, you don't have to wasted to make these poor choices, just that touch of alcohol and you are ready to scour the bar, but there is the person that we know we are going to go home with if we both have drank. You can always rely on old faithful in these situations if that's what you're looking for, only requirement is no one get attached and it's only when you are both intoxicated. You have a great time with this person and it's always fun but there comes a time when it's daylight out and they are asking you to go to lunch. You know you possibly can't start throwing back pitchers at noon, unless it's spring break, but you have to think about if you really want to make this move with this person. You realize that sober you really isn't a fan and you start to wonder how the whole thing ever got started, alcohol. If your immediate thought when this person wants to hang out is no or you keep making excuses to not hang out with them than that really says how you feel so save you both the trouble and be honest with the person, always be HONEST. This goes for any kind of relationship, it's never worth it. If someone wants to be with someone else than they will make it happen, simple as that.
(thanks again He's Just Not That Into You)
We can't stop lying to ourselves about this, sometimes it's just not in us to see this person in daylight, not that big of a deal. We are all human and we all make bad decisions when we just get too drunk. Take out the friends who won't let you make these decisions for a while and just have fun! People care too much about sex nowadays and not enough about just having fun with those around you. If that happens to be someone you are attracted to, play it by ear and see how it goes but there is no reason to force it because it definitely won't come across the way you want it to after an hour or two of bottomless cup.
Here to say it,
postgradgay
Ain't Gonna Drown // Elle King
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