A friend of mine was recently stood up by a guy, I asked permission to mention them in this post, and it got me thinking about what should one do in that kind of situation. No one wants to admit they got stood up, especially while it is happening! It's the last thought that goes through your mind because you are giving this person every excuse in the book; they are just running late, they are having car troubles, maybe there phone is dead, was it something I did? Last thing you want to admit is that they just aren't coming at all and they aren't even bothering to tell you. This is a quick note to everyone, most people would much rather prefer that you tell them you aren't coming or make up some lie, honestly, over getting stood up. It's not a good feeling by any means so kudos to you who it has never happened to. Friends can stand you up to, but you can call them out, you see them all the time. It's when you think you are going on a date and you never hear back from the person, well we are in a day and age where you better turn off those read receipts because you just look like a douchebag, and this goes for girls too. No one is guilty of being stood up, plenty of us have been there and it's not fun when the waiter has to come up and refill your water for the third time or you start getting a buzz as it starts to sink they might not show and you wish you hadn't ordered the whole bottle of chardonnay.
The tricky part is what do you do as the person being stood up when you finally come to terms with the fact they won't show? First things first, get the check ASAP and don't make eye contact with anyone in that restaurant, or wherever you are but still stay strong as you walk out. More than likely everyone knows what just happened, but you just leave like you planned this entire evening. We obviously want to call this person and yell at them and ask why they stood you up but chances are they are going to be staying clear from you for a while because they know the wrath that is to come. Know what you should do, in my opinion mind you, call a bunch of your friends and go out on the town and be sure to take plenty of photos of how much fun you are having. You should not, by any means, get trashed because we know the bad decisions you are going to do. You're going to blow up the person's phone with calls and texts, leave insane voicemails and cry to your friends out at the bar and we do not need that. You might need a good cry, no one is going to blame you, but you wait until you're home watching He's Just Not That Into You to do that. No need to show off the night you're having, but make it a point that you still had a good time that night and whatever malice they may have had towards standing you up will be forgotten. Feel free to block them from social media, but that part is truly up to you, you don't have to. If they care about you and something happened with the night they will try and reach out to you no matter what so you might want to give them a chance to at least explain, but I am not saying you should go running back to them by any means and you will immediately know if the person is talking out of their ass or not so feel free to stop them in their tracks.
Now there is that one person every blue moon that really did have car troubles, or they dropped their phone in a puddle and didn't know what to do. Like I said earlier, you will know if the person is being sincere on how quick they reach out to you or try to meet with you later in the evening, beware the booty call, but we are all human. I like to reference He's Just Not That Into You because it is one of my favorite movies and I love the line about when you hear a story about how your friend forgave the person who stood them up and now they are happily married, well they are the exception and that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to happen to you. Most people who stand you up are just not worth your time, it's as simple as that. If this a first date stand up situation than you can go ahead and scratch that name out of your little black book and look the other way. If this is a second, third date than you might want to try and reach out to the person, without being overbearing, just to discover the situation but sometimes the first date just wasn't as good as you thought it was and people don't always have the heart to say no to a second date. They think they are being nice by saying yes to the date, but be honest with the person, this goes back to them rather hearing no to a second date than yes and being stood up. Like most problems with dating and relationships this is a situation by situation scenario, so play it as you will. Just remember, you might as well finish that bottle of chardonnay you ordered.
Here to say it,
postgradgay
Begin Again // Purity Ring
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