I've worked in the service industry in some shape or form since I was about 16, I'm 24 now, and there are plenty of things I've learned along the way and I thought I would share them with all of you. I know what I'm going to hear, you chose this job, you knew what you were getting yourself into, I should't have to tip, BLAH BLAH. I love being a server, this is just the shit I deal with and shouldn't have to. Everyone dislikes things about their job, so just read and enjoy like all the people in the service industry are going to.
We hate your kids, simple as that. They might be cute and adorable, but that doesn't change that no matter how many you bring it looks like you brought a football team whenever you leave under your table. Try and clean up after your kids. You would do it anywhere else, this isn't any different, I'm not getting paid extra to babysit.
This is a small one, but it still makes me bitter. If you're going to ask for a damn lemon with your water, USE IT. It's a small annoyance, but it's still a thing, why ask for it if you have no desire to use it? Speaking of water, if you're going to be that person who gets a water and a soda or a tea or a coffee, drink both the damn drinks. It doesn't make you healthy just by getting the water with the other drink, you have to drink it too.
Don't raise your bottle to me and shake it at me like I don't understand words. Chances are I saw you were close to being empty and was walking over to you, but patience is not a virtue in the service industry. A subtle raise above the table gives me the sign you need another one, you don't need to wave it around and smash it against a table.
If we close at 1 and you walk in 12:45 your thought process shouldn't be, "Oh, we have 15 minutes still!" You should realize we are going to have to wait there with you, so instead of going somewhere that might be open later or just leave you decide to make the servers, bartenders and cooks wait on you to get a beer and some nachos. If you are going to be that person at least tip accordingly.
TIPPING. There really isn't much use getting into this one because people will always suck but 15% is never hard to tip. Never. And servers will always know if they did a bad job or not, we just do, so when we see how much you left us, we know how much we deserve. If you can't tip or simply don't want to, those people are out there, don't go out. Get your food to go, even though those people should be tipped still too.
No matter how minuscule the problem you have, we will try to fix it for you, but when you point out a small problem like your fries aren't hot enough and I offer to get that fixed in the 10 seconds it would take and you say don't worry about...than I do not care about your problem. If you don't want the problem fixed than I have nothing to gain from hearing about it. The fries not being hot enough wasn't even my fault to begin with, so do not waste my time.
Don't worry about the flavored lemonades, just get lemonade, if you get the flavored lemonade we will come after you. Out of all the things I've listed so far that is one thing gets under our skin, especially when you order 5 before your meal even comes out. They are evil.
Whenever I walk up to the table and ask "How are you all doing today?" with this huge cheesy grin on my face, you could at least give me the decency of answering the question. Sure, I don't really care how you are doing, but sometimes the answers are worth it, so don't look at me and spout off beers. That's not what I asked. Speaking of beers, when I ask what you would like to drink, don't say "beer." Chances are we have more than one beer so be more specific. And when I say we have Pepsi products DO NOT say Coke...you're getting a Pepsi.
Don't say you're allergic to things randomly off the menu just because you don't want it, we are going to do our best either way to make sure that item stays off, so I don't need to hear you can't have dairy or gluten or generosity. Servers are going to know in the first 30 seconds how a table is going to tip, especially if we've been doing it long enough, so don't you worry about us.
I'm sure there are more things I could list, but that just means there might be a later post about a server's rant again. I really enjoyed writing this one, let me know what you all think!
Here to say it,
postgradgay
Money On My Mind // Sam Smith
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