SEX. I know it's more apparent in younger and younger age groups but I'm just focusing on our age group, us 20 somethings, because that's what I can most relate to and personally experienced growing up. There is such a stigma in talking about sex and it's such a taboo topic in conversation and I don't really get why. It's the reason we are here, so we should be able to be comfortable talking about it. Why feel so uncomfortable when someone asks you how old you were when you lost your virginity, were you in a relationship at the time, how many sexual partners have you had? Granted, these are all personal questions and you don't have to answer, but why not? Most people who know me know I'll answer just about any question you ask me, not even just revolving around sex, especially when it comes to educating someone about the LGBT community and my personal lifestyle. There is no reason to judge someone who has had multiple sexual partners, just be having safe sex, but if it is safe than who are we to judge? I would personally be rather jealous of this person and I know most people would, but who's going to admit it? I will. Virginity is a hard one, literally no pun intended, because we don't know the circumstances for anyone's situation so if they don't want to answer there is no need to pursue the answer, maybe this person will tell you when they feel more comfortable to talk about it. Sex questions are nothing to be taboo about and it's something you are definitely going to need to discuss with a sexual partner. Don't be afraid to ask if someone has been tested, if they have a condom, are they on birth control, these are important questions you have every right to know.
Speaking of sex in relationships, that's what this post is all about, when is a good time to finally take that next step with someone? Every relationship is different and sex can mean different things to different couples so this is all just my personal opinion, like everything I write about, but this is also a blog post coming from someone who doesn't see themselves as a sexual person. Look away mom, but sex isn't something I'm not passionate about, not that I haven't done it or currently don't but like I said, everyone is different when it comes to sex. Maybe it's because I'm not in a relationship to share that bond with, who knows? Sex is something that can happen so easily nowadays before you even start to date someone, maybe sex is the spark that gets you two to talk to each other after what you thought may have been a one night stand turns into a great relationships. To quote the movie I love to quote in these posts, He's Just Not That Into You, this goes back to the someone being the exception and someone being the rule so just because someone had a one night stand and it turned into an amazing relationship does not mean it's going to happen for you too. Kudos to you all out there that have that luck because I firmly believe in the statement, "be sure to test drive the car before you buy it" but I even more firmly believe in the statement, "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Both of these work so well when it comes to sex, so just be careful because you never know which statement someone is going for when they try and go to the next level.
One night stands are void of this blog post because most of us have been there and that's pretty black and white unlike friends with benefits, whole other blog post, but maybe you are that couple that wants to wait until the perfect moment, not meaning marriage, but you don't want to jump in and start the relationship off with sex. Why not wait for the magical fireworks moment when you know you're in love? Nothing, so we shouldn't be judging someone just because they haven't had sex with their significant other yet because every relationship is different. We live in a world now where sex is so prevalent that we would judge someone for waiting to have sex, thanks Cosmo. In all seriousness, I don't there could ever be a scientific study saying waiting or not waiting helps a relationship because you're going to see it different in every couple there is. You just have to decide, do you want to wait or do you trust this person enough to think something more could come from just having sex? Just never hesitate to ask the important questions, if the person doesn't want to answer then it really isn't worth the risk, but to each their own. This is the time to make mistakes, just be careful about who you make them with!
P.S. This post has nothing to do with people waiting until marriage. Kudos to you, you're the real MVP.
Here to say it,
postgradgay
What Kind of Man // Florence + The Machine
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