All this snow is happening today so I thought it would be a perfect time to write a post in the comfort of my bed and I had a friend recently who has not really talked about her ex for a while and saw a picture of him with his new girlfriend and it just brought back feelings, emotions and a topic of conversation. The point of this post, just because we say we are over someone does it mean we are?
When are we supposed to know we are truly over someone? I mean, it may never happen when you think about it. It can be months after a breakup and than you hear that one song you all listened to, you pass by your favorite place to eat together or something triggers a thought and it all comes rushing back. It can hit you like a brick wall when you least expect it, just when you think you are getting over that last hurdle you trip and it feels like you're just going to have to start over again. We know this tends to take time, but we don't know how much time is supposed to past. Should we feel bad if it happens sooner than we thought? People have horror stories of it taking years before they were able to move on and everyone has their own process and it doesn't mean anything about you if you are able to move on quicker than you expected. Maybe it says more about the person you were with if you are able to move on fast. What steps should we take to move on? Sometimes if you have a breakup that you both agree on then you're fine to keep following them on social media, you're okay to see them going out with someone in public or maybe even one day go on a...dare I say it, double date? Some people say you can't be friends with an ex, I can't personally speak about this because I'm not friends with any of mine, BUT I know people that are and it works just fine! There is clearly a level you can't cross if this happens and you have to make sure boundaries are set, especially when one of you gets in a new relationship because you never know if that crazy part of you is going to snap when they actually do move on.
Than we have the couples who don't have such a perfect breakup and it ends up being a scene from Kill Bill the way you both act around each other. You don't necessarily want to seem bitter and unfollow them on social media, but if seeing them infuriates you or makes you upset then it might be what is best. There is nothing stopping you from following them back later if and when you seem ready to be updated on their life, but for now don't hesitate to take time for yourself and Pinterest inspirational quotes. Depending on the breakup you're allowed to be bitter and talk shit for a few days to your friends while we all tell you how bad of a person they were. But this goes for everyone, please only take a few days, that's all you really need. You obviously might need more time to move on and come to terms but if all you do is complain abut the person then you're never going to be able to move on so don't go overboard. As your friends we can only repeat he's a dick or she was a bitch so often to get the point across to you, but we will do it as long as you need us too. Doesn't mean we won't be there to help burn a box of their things or go out with you because you never know what a person is going through or how they are handling a situation, as best friends we just have to be there and support them.
I know not a long post this time around, but this is something that needed to be short and sweet. Plus I have to find a way to enjoy this snow today!
Here to say it,
postgradgay
What Kind Of Man // Florence + the Machine
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