Putting a Title On It

   "Don't fix it unless it's broken" is one of my favorite quotes and I think that quote goes very well with relationships. When you first start hanging out someone and feelings begin to grow that is one of the best times at the beginning of a relationship. It's your time to still be a free person and do whatever you want, but still know you have that person to talk to and see. When I say do whatever you want I don't mean sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry you come across, but that may be it for some people who like to stay in this phase. This is my favorite because it is a time that you can spend with someone where you really don't feel as much pressure from society, in this day and age just because you hang out with someone already makes you "official" or "exclusive" and that might be enough for some people. Just because you have the title of boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't mean all of the problems get fixed or society will leave you alone, in some cases it only gets worse. Do you think he/she is the one? Would you marry them? How many kids? Does he/she have a good job?

You're expected to know all of these questions after only a few months.

   I buy sweaters that I like at first but realize I don't after a couple months, so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to know if I will marry someone in that short amount of time. I'm not claiming to be a relationship guru, hell I'm not even in one, but these are only things I tend to notice or have experienced in my lifetime. These questions become more apparent after you graduate college and are finally out in the real world with a real job. Our parents don't seem to notice that the real world means we are broke, still serving tables and have to go back to school shortly after we leave the first time. The lucky few get their adult jobs out of the gate, but for the rest of us we still need to "discover ourselves". So many air quotes in this post, can you tell how I feel about the subject?

   The point is, why rush in putting a title on your relationship? Especially if you're happy without it, we all know adding a word doesn't do much and can sometimes only make the situation worse. I see why people would wish to add it and I wish them all the best, I just know I am in no rush to put a title on it. I still need to find that person to be in the beginning stage anyway so you never know how your opinions will change when you are put in the situation. That will come in a later post (hopefully).

Don't worry about what society thinks you should do in your relationship, your relationship isn't a Michael Kors purse and that's the only time putting a title on it is absolutely necessary. The person you're asking to hold off putting the title on for should be completely understandable and if they have a problem with you wanting to wait, but still be exclusive, than that should be a red flag for you that the title and putting it on Facebook is more important than the actual dating experience. All of my friends who have the title, I think they made the right decision, but like I will continue to say, I am no relationship expert so I can only for the best. I hope the best for all relationships, I'm nervous these posts will make people think I'm bitter, these are just my opinions and what I've seen in college and since graduating.

Just think, why is the title the most important?

Here to say it,

postgradgay

Ultraviolence // Lana Del Rey